TO DO LIST.

In order of priority

#1. Do my school entry essay type thing.

#2. Buy gym membership.

#3. Get haircut.

#4. Finish my book.

#5. Try and update this blog more!

new leaves

so much stuff is changing right now, and im super bummed. hopefully good will come out of it, this is gonna be weird. No constant band practices/shows, no girlfriend...im hoping shit goes well with me getting into school. this blog is the least formal blog ive ever written, terrible punctuation. oh well. just felt like 100% thinking out loud.

oh and i covered my favourite song ever, listen here www.myspace.com/shaqisfunny

its not very good but whatever

tell me about the long, dark, path home.

So much shit has gone on since my last blog I don't even want to write about it. I think I'm in shock still and eventually it's going to hit me even harder than it already has. Everything I planned and dreamed has been fucked up by something out of my control. I feel like the person responsible doesnt even care.

heartbroken doesnt come close to describing this.

I stay cold forevermore.

pain in my heart

So much has gone on in the past few days.

Some really, really, really shitty things.

I just hope to work through things because the bigger picture is worth it.

Leaving for tour tomorrow. I guarantee I am going to be in all kinds of emotional states while I'm out there.

“To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.”

would you really rush out?

I'll post a longer blog later, but a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders today. Not to say it wasn't hard, but I'm glad I did it.

Listen to Owen, Bon Iver, and Evening Hymns.

20.

Today is my 20th birthday. Saying that is kind of surreal. Maybe because I feel I havent accomplised much in 20 years but maybe because I'm just not a teenager again. I don't feel too much need to celebrate my birthday. I mean, celebrations and parties are fun, but if I don't have one I'm not bummed. The new Owen album "New Leaves" leaked (for anyone who doesn't know www.myspace.com/mybandowen it's some of the best music you will ever hear, I promise, and Mike Kinsella happens to be one of my favourite musicians) so I have so far spent my day laying in bed just listening to it on repeat. How could I ask for a better birthday than that? I don't even care if I get any presents, I'm content with this.

I've made up my mind. I'm nervous to break the news but sort of excited to turn over a "new leaf" (pun intended from above) because I'm going to do something I thought I didn't want to do.

That's all really.

I always say "one of these days" and well, that day has come.